How do you find meaning in difficulty? This video trailer for the book, “Far From the Tree: Parents, Children, and the Search for Identity” by Andrew Solomon, shows some poignant vignettes of interviews with parents and children who were born “different.” Solomon learns that although individual differences can be isolating, the fact of difference is universal. His other great discovery is joy – most of the families ended up being grateful for experiences they would have done anything to avoid.
The concept of “other-ness” has been much examined in its various permutations of longed-for specialness to dreaded isolation. In my work, if frequently experience in my clients the yearning to know what is “normal”. My own yearning is to shift the paradigm to know what is pleasurable, whole and authentic. The poignant difference between what “should be” and what “is” is the difference between regretting what we are not and embracing what is. From the stance of acceptance and appreciation, we can lead our richest, free-est lives.