GoodTherapy.org – How Therapy Reduces Shame and Helps Us Access the Freedom of Adulthood – By Alex Afram, PhD – August 7, 2017
As I read the blog post, I find my mind drawn to wondering about the set of clients with whom I have worked over the years who have chosen to access therapy in an ad hoc format…preferring not to commit to meeting on a predictable regular schedule.
There is a practical, logistical side of me that respects the complexity of people’s lives and supports their agency in deciding when and how to engage in therapy. And yet, I also know that there is something deeper playing out in this pattern. These clients tend to be looking for tools and techniques, relief from crisis, or a crash course in self-help. And yet, this touch-in-and-leave format is replicating a painful relational pattern that feels familiar, safe and protected. It’s the smokescreen from being fully seen, from the pain of disappointment; accessing intermittent psychotherapy may be a way in which some clients are avoiding being vulnerable and avoiding the fears and desires that are underlying those self-protective behaviors.
As a champion of choice, I will never deny my clients the option to schedule sessions as makes sense for them, but I will not shy away from wondering what’s behind those choices. How would it be for us to fully show up for each other again and again? If this were to transpire in the consultation office, what might change for the client out in the world as they apply this courage in other relationships? Just wondering…