We Can’t Just Let Boys Be Boys

Locker rooms are not the place to learn about sexual ethics. Neither is the internet.

Furry is a political weapon. Women are wielding it. Peggy Orenstein, in her NYT Op Ed brings out the big guns with “We Can’t Just Let Boys Be Boys: Locker rooms are not the place to learn about sexual ethics. Neither is the internet.”

Clearly, her declarative is solid. And yet, her lament misses the extraordinary high price of her broad stroke generalizations. For me, it sends my mind toward the defense of so many wonderful, intelligent, kind and ethical boys and men whom I know. Further, I feel sad for impact on the girls-turning-women in today’s ecosystem of male-bashing.

We need people to recognize that both men and women have been dehumanized by reductive cultural norms. The enormity of supporting boys in developing strong, healthy emotional expression is a given that certainly requires re-evaluation in our country. That movement would influence proclivity for physical-sexual aggression, as well as, more broadly, the plethora of other unfortunate (for both men and woman) gender normatives.

I send my love to the many insightful, self-reflective men who bring good to their partners, their families, and the world.